Starting a new relationship can be fun, exciting, adventurous and invigorating. It also can be confusing, scary, anxiety inducing and disheartening. The way in which you proceed can make a big difference in how you come out on the other side.
Stop Looking To Ohers To Make Up Your Mind
First let’s get something straight. I just have to tell you that this movement to do everything the way other people say you should is absolute crap. Your dating relationships are between you and the other person. You know you best and you have a wonderful gift inside you called intuition.
What Intuition Is Not
Now I know what you’re probably thinking. Oh you’re telling yourself about all these times when intuition got you in a bad situation. Let me assure you, that likely wasn’t your intuition. When you first meet someone that you’re insanely attracted to, things can get a little cloudy. It’s easy to see all these great amazing things about the other person and ignore red flags. Don’t worry about it, I’ve been there too. Almost everyone would love a hot steamy romance, even the people who say they don’t (whatever we know better). What made you get in a bad situation before was probably lust, not intuition.
I’m here to tell you that you are probably your own worst enemy when it comes to success in a relationship. Self sabbatage can be our big bad friend when we are busy avoiding the worst. If you let your fear rule your next move you will almost always end up with a result that is not in your favor.
Go With The Connection
When meeting someone new it’s okay to go with the connection. If you love talking to each other, go with that and talk lots. If you enjoy spending time together and happen to have the time to do it right at the start, go for it. If you are attracted to each other don’t create rules on when to touch elbows or hold hands or lean in for the first kiss. Life cannot be lived fully if you’re constantly planning out every single move.
It’s alright to have some boundaries and to keep yourself safe you certainly should however, how the relationship plays out is not something you can read in a book or even hear from your friends. Those types of dynamics are totally up to you and the person you’re with to figure out. What works for you may not work for someone else and that’s totally fine.
Screw Social Norms
Social norms are different in every society. Think about that! They are man made creations that are designed just to make people feel comfortable. Is everyone around you living your life? Nope. so why would you conduct yourself while getting to know someone, in a way that makes other people comfortable. The truth is, what “they” think won’t even matter in the whole scheme of things.
It’s time to step outside your box. Try to take some time to discover all of your options when it comes to relationships and dig deep to see what it is you are truly seeking. People have relationships in so many ways and as long as it is not harmful to anyone the dynamic is truly up to you.
Decide On Your Rules of Engagement On Your Own
Nobody else can decide for you your rules of engagement. Truthfully, you shouldn’t even want them to. You’ll feel far more free and authentic by simply going with the flow. I know you can find real, awesome, successful relationships. What will you do today to break down some barriers and move forward with more freedom to make up your own mind?